As he lay in his coffin, Alucard pondered how to explain to

Carrie the depth of aloneness he felt as vampire. “Do you know the feeling you have upon awakening? In that instant when you are truly alone? There is that brief second before the people return, before you are able to orient yourself to that which surrounds you, before all of the data of previous perceptions are reloaded. It is a fearful time, that instant when all that defines your oneness is nonexistent. It is the closest that humans can approach death. For humans, ego is what is of primary importance when they try to imagine life everlasting. As they view infinity, it is always from the perception of self; there is simply no other way to experience it.

V2008