Back in my heyday of blogging endlessly and then burning out...I would have a weekly "What did I learn this week" post. It was cathartic flush or as I would say "The Cranium Flush" ...and a good way to keep tabs on my self, inner and outer. I often, these days will read through what I had written. There are times when I still cry, or laugh at my silliness, chuckle at others silliness, or scroll up and down to find who wrote the piece, as I truly do not believe I could have written something that poetic. Hey I have vain days and I can pull something good and worth reading occasionally. So onward with my babble...the follow is a repost of sorts. An old posting dating back to 2005. With a twist. My comments NOW to what I had written THEN. A self examination , reflection, let's see how far I truly have come, if at all. My comments NOW will be in italics and a different color font....FORWARD!
The Original Title was Meds, Learning and Whatnots..
A quick update: I saw the Doc again. Woo hoo...always fun! I have been referred out to a neurologist and some "new" meds...Should I be concerned when the "possible" side effects include, agitation, anxiety{Like I need more}, coma, altered states, amensia, accidental injury???? Don't sound too bad....lol, j/k....So that saga continues.... NOW: The side effects? Have not gone away, I dont think one can call what is the norm a side effect! Of course the coma part I am still mulling about in the head- maybe this is all a coma dream? This whole episode just sucked bananas. Car was totaled, person who hit me and caused a 4 car accident, walked away with nothing. Sold her house, sold everything. And the cause of this accident? She dropped her cell phone...
I learn something new everyday. About myself, the people in my life, the people around my life, life in general and some new useless knowledge as well.
Here's what I've learned in my neck of the woods:
I learned:
~That a flower will bloom in the middle of winter. NOW:Love this observation!
~I need to get off my ass and get these scripts out. They won't mail themselves. NOW: Still waiting to get off my ass to do this- flipside? I did write 4 more! So the other 8 aren't lonely.
~That by the year 2025, 80 Million people will die of AIDS in Africa. That stat is mind boggling.NOW: Still mind boggling...
~My daughter knows the phrase "I will kick your ass" She is 3. Hmm I wonder where she heard that {ahem 13 yr, 9yr old}. NOW: Cracks me up, she hasnt changed at all! Just the ages.
~I still dislike insurance companies. NOW: Holds true to this day.
~I still dislike snow. NOW:Some habits just never change.
~I miss watching Monty Python...and just laughing silly.
~Memories can bitchslap ya pretty hard.
~I can be a miserable bitch. NOW: Ummmm yep....
~I want to play.
~I have set my ideals, expectations for other people too high, to the point I have to question if they are actually obtainable?NOW: Wooo hooo, I have gotten a tad bit better at this, at least I can take a quick step back now and review myself and the situation better.
~I create goals that are out of reach. NOW: yeah well...
~I do not have the patience of Job.
~A new word: Synchronicity syn·chro·nic·i·ty 
( P Pronunciation Key (s
ng
kr
-ns
-t
, sn-)
n. pl. syn·chro·nic·i·ties
- The state or fact of being synchronous or simultaneous; synchronism.
- Coincidence of events that seem to be meaningfully related, conceived in Jungian theory as an explanatory principle on the same order as causality.
Destiny is at play here - have you noticed a number of events that seem rather a coincidence? This is synchronicity, trust it and go with the flow.
{Okay it's not "new", just appears alot in my world lately}
~Otto, the 9 yr old, is a really good guitar player. NOW: And he can play violin...does he? No! Otto for those not in the know is Number 2 child. The Guitar prodigy, if you had not followed the blog at all, is The Teen, now Mr 18yr old.
~Music brings a lot of joy in this house.
~I believe.
~I doubt myself, a lot.
~I can read a 900 page book in a weekend. :o)
~Pain is exhausting.
~A smile goes a long way.
~There is just not enough coffee in this world somedays.
~On that note: People need to leave coffee alone, what's the deal with this pumpkin spice? It's just not right!
~That I am inspired by the people I work with {Aka clients} ~They never call out sick, they love their jobs, they flourish in adversity.
~The worst thing anyone can ever say to you...."No"
~I've been called worse things by better people.
~Dreams persist.
~Dwelling in anger, hides all the good.
~Sometimes the distance between people grows larger the closer you are. NOW: Still a fave thought of mine.
~About respect: Respecting someone's place in life.
~A new fun way to mess with the teenager: His fave word these days is "huh?"So, when I need to ask him a question or make a statement, I am going to speak a different language to him or use sign language,then when he says, "huh?" I feel a bit more justified.{evil huh?} NOW...HA!
~I can not make choices for others.
~The vibrant colors in my dreams have faded. NOW: Hmmm...I can still say this.
~Nothing is ever good enough for me.
~Did I say, I hate snow?....still.
~About Space: It's not the final frontier. Yet a distance necessary to persevere.
~I think I can ascribe someone else's motivations, yet not my own. NOW: Wow...
~I miss unique people.
~That I am okay. A little quirky, but okay.
~I have some really great memories, with room for more.
~Everybody has a reason to abandon their plans.
~Rain comforts me.
~A very important lesson, I have no clue how to use my voice. I can write it, but I can't say it to those who need to hear it. NOW: I have learned since that stepping out into the fire...I didnt get burned. Maybe a bit singed yet nothing permanent. Life is about risk, holding your own and taking accountability for your actions. Being vocal just puts it out there, it is not right nor is it wrong. It is what it is. People will either accept it or not. It will change things or it won't. Either way, the motion of forward still remains and possibilities of the motion is there...it is all about choice.
~I am thankful for spellcheck....lol.
~That a cat can travel on top of a car for ten miles...
~I need a really really tall ladder, so I can sit atop the wall and dangle my feet over the edge. NOW: In certain situations still holds. Some days that wall is stronger than others. Yet I remain guarded.
So...That's what I learned in my neighborhood. What did you learn?
Peace~
Jo
