Saturday, September 26, 2009



Living our lives with such a freedom, such a flowing existence. Wading out in the water. Floating. The water surrounds us, unknown to our bodies the amount of pressure that is being exerted on us. We swim freely, out farther and farther. Not paying attention to where we are, or where we are headed.
The air, salty to our nostrils.
We take that look behind us, realizing we have drifted. Too far out.
We begin to swim back, only to realize we've been pulled out. So caught up in the moment. Caught up and knowing the consequences, we continued. Not a care in the world. We werent doing anything wrong.
Now, we struggle against the tide. The harder we push forward the tighter the hold. The panic. The fear.
Legs kick harder. Arms struggle more, getting tired.
Our thoughts slam, panic, anxiety at full throttle. Desparately we swim for shore, going nowhere. Going nowhere fast.
Air comes shorter, as we bob with the sea. The free floating, now an endeavor of a lifetime, just to stay above water. There is no voice to be heard. The mind is too occupied with keeping the body afloat. One attempt to scream, our words stifled by the salty water invading our lungs.
The momentary clarity, as your eyes look to the sunsetting out over the horizon...Will this be the last? A calm surges throughout my immediate existence.....
.... Giving up. Giving in. Letting the battle be won.
Letting your body just drift. Hoping to float endlessly in this peace that washes over. Your mind escapes to lands, far far away.
The tide has won.
In the cold, lonely water, the numbness of your toes, your all you dont feel.
A realization.
The tide has ceased to pull and push. Within your submission, the tide and all its anger, also relented.
Free. Free from the riptide. Free from the demons that plague one's mind. The fatigue suddenly slides away, to give you room, for the stretch to shore.
The struggle no more.
The suffocation, those desparate gasps for air. Any air. As you lift your tired bones from the water, collapsing upon the sand. Sucking in air, hard and heavy. Just thankful to be alive.
Looking out to that horizon as the sun gives it final bow of the day.
Ever so thankful. To come out on the otherside. To be embraced within all that pain and all that beauty.
She made me see, she made me feel, deep to my core and within my psyche. All of that power, all of that angst, all of what she is...She showed me...I am alive. And she wanted me to remember. And never..
I won't.
I can't.


Catch ya'll on the otherside!