Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Didn't I just do this? Oh...yes a year ago...


There is the gnawing reflection of who stares back at me. A little wiser, through mistakes and plain stupidity. There is this face with a few more laugh lines and laugh I do.
Underneath, behind this woman who stares at me, is still that inner child. She still exists.

Being afforded the time to take a gander back and immerse ones self in all that is good.
Remembering where one was in relation to where one is...at the moment.

This past year has been a huge 'growth' spurt. More emotionally. More of "that chatter in the matter".

With this reflection, of the passing year, I can come out the otherside, with a calm feeling. One with a taste of serenity.
Oh, there is still strife, those little things that just claw from the inside just wanting to unleash at the world. That wants to rip the inner sanctum of the self to shreds.
And yet one trudges on fighting the good fight. Muck and all.

Today I reflect on those who have and are the ones who have given me life. In one form or another.
I am not an overly religious individual. At least not by the standards of society. I do not assign myself one name over another.
Yet I carry a faith with me and it has no name. It just is.

On this day, as everyday, I want to revel in the moments of a life...
With gratitude. With contentment.
And I am all and more.

As these years zoom by, these reflections spin more frequently. With more intensity.
The realization of "Hey wait a minute I just did this a year ago!"...well didn't I?
My heart has been humbled. My heart has filled with joy. And not a damn day goes by that I don't relay this to those I hold close. To those I find a connection.
And to those who found one with me.

Many expect 'things', many wait for 'things' to occur, to be given.
Not me. Not today.

I want to give to those who have given me laughter, tears and the rawness of life.
For without them, there would be no me.
The obvious is my parents. Well duh...
To the one who still makes my heart skip a beat, yes to this very day(20 years now as of Wednesday).
And to my children, who everyday remind me just how sweet life is...
"Living in Sway"....everyday grabbing those moments keeping them as fresh as one can, for the day will come when one loses that memory, cluttered on and on with another.
To my friends..the few I grip tightly to and "get me". Understand and still stick around.

ANd to all of you I have come to know, or get to know even if it is just through words. Inspirations, dreams, aspirations to be a better person, life, love, laughter and to be placed in the world of Humble, all through your eyes(words)...
I thank you.

Two words for me, that sum up the whole: Contentment and Gratitude.

I will always seek that "Peace". Having been asked numerous times, is there any moment in my life, where I can place peace?
No...I have come to accept this as my quest. I have come to accept that Peace will come when I lay my head down and my eyes will no longer see light.
I am content with this and I am grateful I have what I have, who I have and I wouldn't change a thing. Not one iota.

I ask for nothing. I desire none. No trinkets, no treasures, no baubles at all. No new shiny things to make me go Ahhh...
All I require is reciprocation. No acknowledgment, except Time. I have all I need, right here and now.

To the old, to the new, to those to come, I welcome it all.

All in a Reflection of one passing year.

* 1,388,437,953 seconds-where does the time go?


And to those wondering, my silence is not due to any depression or anything other than...L-I-F-E. I am well, quite well in fact. I have been reading EVERY.SINGLE. Blog on my side bar, that still exists...I have...I just haven't time to dialogue. ~ Peace
...as it was more a statement for myself, and to share, yet not necessarily one I seek comments(The 'happy bdays'...I wasn't seeking them...) ;)