Friday, February 10, 2012

Valentine’s Day Memories: good, bad, and ugly

As a caregiver spouse Valentine’s Day is at best a one sidedexercise. Yet marketing drives society and well look around theannual emotional ‘carpet bombing’ has begun.

Progression of Multiple Sclerosis symptoms both physical andcognitive long ago eliminated ever receiving any Valentine’s Day gift, gestureor even remembrance.  It’s such a‘healthy couple only’ media blitz it only leaves me feeling more isolated andalone than usual. The caregiver perspective is expressed well in “Valentine's Day - Fleeting Fluff” by Terri Corcoran.

Maybe it always was illusion? As a college student I double datedwith a friend on Valentine’s Day. Splurging on the memorable kind of restaurantit seemed a night and place framed for romantic love. Until my buddy decided toseize the moment to announce he was breaking up with his girlfriend.  

Also long ago in my years on the road I knew someone who fallinghead over heels in love with a woman drove hours with that seething passion andimagination of romantics to surprise her and ask her to “be mine” forever onValentine’s Day. She instead surprised him, having settled down with her ‘truelove’ and asked him to leave her alone before he ever opened his mouth.

Maybe romantic love isn’t an illusion but a delusion?

Valentine’s Day also is not really even a holiday. Companies,schools, and governments go about business as usual. My Mom’s body was crematedon Feb 14th. There’s a figurative coffin nail in Valentine’s Daymemories.

In all fairness there are some good memories. My Aunt and Unclewere married on Valentine’s Day. They celebrated over 60 wedding anniversarieson Valentine’s Day before death interupted the romance.

For almost two decades I’ve been involved with a Special OlympicsValentine’s dance for high school age special needs students unlikely to experiencetraditional school dances. no diagnosis on the dance floor

And for whatever reason snow storms and blizzards enjoy visitingaround Valentine’s Day and I could not be happier. Snow is nature’s “hug me”!

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer